A few weeks ago, my colleague, John and I did a hot seat coaching session for our Simplicity Sessions Podcast where Georgiana came to us wanting fresh insight around her weight.
During that call I confessed that this was one of the areas where I find it harder to see that our experience isn’t created by our circumstances.
It looked true to me during that call that my life would be happier if I weighed less.
I had just started a healthy eating program with a coach at that point and was a couple of weeks into it, but even though my grounding was slightly shaky in this area, I shared that an understanding of the Principles meant that I was able to simply and quietly follow the plan without a whole load of fuss.
And when you eat less, and more healthily, you tend to lose weight.
Well today I reached the goal I had set for myself – a weight I haven’t been for over ten years (I blame the kids).
It’s taken me 8 weeks and I’m about to blow it by going on holiday, however there’s a knowing that with no big drama, I can return to this weight again pretty quickly after the wine and cheese fest that is bound to ensue while I’m away.
A question came to me to reflect on this morning.
I see that we’re not in control of how life pans out. And yet, here is yet another example in my life of setting a target and achieving it, to the day, to the pound, that I intended.
This often happens to me (I had all three of my babies on my due date, would create a launch for 100 new clients and get exactly 100, set an intention to buy my house against the odds and had it happen etc etc).
At those times it looks to me that actually I AM in control. If it weren’t for my intention, and doing the things I did, then those results wouldn’t have happened, right?
And today it looked like that happened again. I decided to sign up for the healthy eating program, I called the coach, I got the blood test done that’s part of the program, I read the plan and went out shopping every week to buy the food, I chose what to put in my mouth every moment of every day – surely I get the credit for the weight loss? I was totally in control.
BUT….. since I started popping out babies, I’ve tried weight-watchers, quitting sugar, reducing portions, going to the gym, going running, doing yoga, Slimfast and all sorts.
With all of these I found myself hangry, miserable, losing 4-5lb then saying ‘f*ck it’ and eating a pile of cake and piling on more than I lost – which is a pretty typical story in the weight-loss world.
If it was up to me and I really was in control, wouldn’t the first attempt have worked?
Let me tell the weightloss story a different way.
I happened to be away with my husband for a romantic weekend away but to find a good hotel, I had reached out to one of my friends who is a hotel-junkie for a recommendation.
As a result I ended up in a hotel in her neck of the woods.
Now because of the Principles, I didn’t have to wait for my husband to get home and drive me to the hotel (see this post for this breakthrough), so on the Friday morning I dropped the kids at school and headed down there.
I occurred to me to ask my friend to come meet me for a drink at the hotel, given that I now had the whole day to myself and she joined me in the garden there for a glass of fizz in the sunshine.
When she turned up, she looked all glowy and healthy so we got round to talking about what she was currently eating, and she told me about a healthy eating plan she had discovered a couple of years ago, that was still working it’s magic to this day.
She told me about a coach who would take me through the plan.
Now I’ve known this coach for years, but it had never crossed my mind to work with her in this way. The opportunity had been there right in front of me and I had never seen it before.
On the Monday after I returned home, I reached out the coach and had a conversation – she told me about the eating plan and explained that it all kicked off with a blood test. There’s a private clinic in London that does it very fast for you, which meant I could get started right away (necessary in order to shift weight before aforementioned holiday).
Funnily enough (!), I was meeting a friend in London already the next day so I just added the blood test into my day out. Easy peasy. By that evening the results were in and the next day I started with my customized plan.
I did not control all of this.
There’s something rather cool that happens when the plans of our personal little mind lines up with the plans of the greater intelligence that really runs the show.
Opportunities arise, connections appear out of thin air, what could have looked like a complicated process with blood tests, being given ostrich as one of the things you are allowed to eat (!), working with my coach to understand the plan just didn’t seem complicated.
In fact it was all rather simple 🙂
All those times I relied on willpower to try to get me through with 7-9pm period without touching a glass of wine. All that struggle of denying myself from picking at the kids’ fish fingers, all that beating myself up when the scales sometimes went up instead of down – that was all me trying to control it.
For some reason unknown to me, eight weeks ago losing weight became an idea whose time had come.
Not on my schedule, but on the schedule of the natural unfolding of life, of which I’m not in control.
The biggest thing is it’s been no drama.
I didn’t declare I was doing the plan on Facebook (in the hope that the public might hold me accountable for doing the things I said I wanted to do but actually didn’t and that’s why I needed them).
I didn’t make a big song and dance about it at social occasions.
I just quietly and simply followed the plan.
The plan was great, don’t get me wrong.
But I do think that it’s my understanding of the Principles that definitely helped.
A few weeks back I had the insight that all I was trying to do when drinking wine in the evening, or placating myself with junk food or cakes was to attempt to change an uncomfortable feeling.
And given that stuff outside us can’t impact the way we feel (even when we eat it and therefore it’s inside us), if I was just prepared to sit in an uncomfortable feeling for a while, there would be no need for the wine or junk.
(Listen to this podcast and you can hear the insight land for me!)
Nothing to be scared of. Nothing to resist. Nothing to fight against. Just a thought and a feeling.
Just. A. Thought. And. A. Feeling.
Sometimes I find myself wondering about the practical implications of understanding the Principles.
“So what if I’m God and I get to live in a lovely feeling?”
“What about my relationships, my money, my health?”
This is a beautiful example to me of the direct practical implications of this understanding.
Just imagine what you could create if you weren’t afraid of being in an uncomfortable feeling for a while.
That blows my mind.