Thought was the biggie, the most easily graspable, the one I could start to see in operation in me and others everywhere I started to look.
Consciousness I had no idea about (“I’ll leave that one until later”) and Mind was all a bit whoo whoo for me.
“Do they know they’re God?” was one of my mentor’s way he could tell if his clients were really ‘getting it’.
“Uh, no. WTF?”
And now, many months later, my experience has shifted.
What has happened for me (and please know this is my personal journey so probably completely unlike yours) was that as I understood the made-up-ness of reality – the more I saw into the nature of Thought – the quieter and quieter my personal thinking became.
I didn’t have to spend hours planning every possible eventuality in my head (“Well, if I get a migraine I’ll do x”, “If this product launch doesn’t work, I’ll do that”).
I saw the future is created only inside our heads, and that future Nic could take care of it.
I didn’t need to think and think and think to come up with strategies to get the stuff that was essential for happiness, or to always have the world be a certain way for me to be OK.
I started (occasionally) to see I’d be OK no matter what, and that the ‘stuff’ had no bearing on that whatsoever.
A lot of the thinking I’d been doing just fell away as a result of the deeper understanding.
And as that’s happened, I can hear something that to me feels different.
I don’t have to ‘do’ anything to hear it, it just pops up all on its own, and usually only when I’m not looking.
The best way I have to describe it is a ‘knowing’ at the bottom of my out-breath, rather than a ‘think’ that whirrs around in my brain.
My first little glimmers of Mind.
I felt it the other day: ‘Put an ad on Gumtree”.
I’ve had that thought in my head before, but this time it was from that ‘out-breath’ place.
I felt it with such clarity.
And so, five minutes later, there was an ad on Gumtree.
“Great, I thought, a full-time person so I can do loads more client work here at the Simplicity Project, and I can do the training programs I want to as I’ll have back up. Thanks Mind :)”
I had placed similar ads before and either got total silence or ‘Pleeeeze let me with your business and I am much loving of your children” kind of voice messages.
But this time the phone rang off the hook with amazing applicants.
I started interviewing, but then was struck by a thought attack of self-doubt.
Perhaps I wanted to keep The Simplicity Project small and simple. No team, no tech, no troubles was my intention when setting it up.
And I was confused – the feeling to hire someone had been so clear – had I ‘misheard Mind’? Was that even possible?
And then a friend pointed out to me: “Mind didn’t tell you to ‘Get some help so you can help more clients and do the training you want’, all you heard was ‘Place an ad on Gumtree’.”
I had just made the rest of it up.
The reason why.
And when I saw that, all that doubting thinking just went away and I thought ‘OK. What’s next?’
And what happened next (short version of story) was that I shared the advert on Gumtree, a friend saw it, called me to say he was also looking for someone and if I found any good CVs could I share, I thought to ask him if he’d recommend his current accountant while he was on the phone, and he gave me her number.
“Place an ad on Gumtree” leads to new accountant.
Not the way I would have done it.
And then the following day I had a “I really want some fruit” moment.
“How cool is that?” I thought. “This is what they (‘they’ have a lot of promises) mean when they say that when your thinking quiets down, you’re more able to tune into what your body actually needs. My body/Mind/whatever is telling me that I must be short on Vitamin C or some other nutrient”.
And because I’m experimenting with going with those ‘things that feel like they might be from Mind’, I put my shoes on, got the dog and walked down to the shop as we were out of fruit.
On the way, I wanted to listen to a particular audio so I pulled out my phone but the one I wanted to listen to was too quiet to hear against the noise of the traffic. So it occurred to me to listen to one of Michael Neill’s radio shows on a topic I’m interested in – but as I swiped to that playlist, a different audio caught my eye.
I only had a chance to listen to twenty minutes of it, bought my fruit, logged onto my computer and sat down to a client skype call.
And the client turned up talking to me about the exact same issue that Michael had just been discussing on his radio show, and I shared the story I had heard there and the client experienced a huge insight.
“Eat fruit” leads to client insight.
Again, not one I would have planned.
So I’m playing with this living from Mind thing.
And I’m starting to see the ‘moment to moment’ nature of wisdom.
That shows you just the next step.
That there’s no need to make up a story as to why we feel guided in a certain direction.
That there’s an intelligence behind the system that’s taking care of that.
And I can’t really explain it but it feels me with such joy to feel that life could really actually be that easy.
Just do what it makes sense to do right now.
Then the next thing.
Then the next.
With no need to worry about where it’s leading, what the ‘end goal’ might be and the ‘what ifs’ that I might have experienced before.
The self-doubt has gone because there’s no self in the equation to doubt any more.
That’s ANOTHER 90% off my to-do list.
“Do I know I’m God?”.
I have a sneaking suspicion just a teeny tiny part of me just might be.