I haven’t written for a while. Mainly because I’ve been out complicating things again 🙂
But then last week, right in the middle of an absolute racket going on in my head about the future, and what I might fill it with, I all of a sudden I woke up.
It was raining and I was out walking the dog, but I barely noticed as I was totally up in my head and actually crying at the frustration of my noisy, noisy head.
Bob had taken up residence for a few weeks and his insistent shouting and my desperately trying to follow his orders had just driven me to my limits.
I knew intellectually it was ‘just noise’ but that was just completely not helpful as I tried to ‘apply the strategy of seeing it as noise’ to ‘make it go away’.
(All of this makes perfect sense when you’re off on one.)
And then as I turned through my front gate with tears streaming down my face, for no reason at all I was hit by the simplicity and beauty of being out walking the dog in the rain.
It’s hard to describe in words but it felt like I just came back to myself. I was just touched so profoundly and I had the insight that THIS, THIS is all that matters in life.
Simplicity and beauty.
And I raised my head and I saw it everywhere.
The rain, the dog, my house, my garden, my kids, my husband, my friends, my cup of tea.
And as I’ve been in life over the last few days I keep alternating between ‘Gotta plan for 2017 and work my plan and know what I’m doing for the next 12 months and ya da ya da ya da’ (the noise I’m surrounded by in the ‘real’ world) and settling back into this feeling of beauty and simplicity that is so profound.
And I see that it doesn’t matter what’s in my bank account or schedule in 2017 – once beauty and simplicity is tattooed on your eyeballs, it’s there no matter what you point them at.
It’s an inside-out job.
That’s why I’m back here today.
This where I always find myself when simplicity and beauty become the direction I want to orient myself in more.
When I think back to the most beautiful moments in my life, they are time spent watching my kids play, the funniest things I’ve laughed at with my friends, wonderful moments spent doing karaoke and dancing, being immersed in decorating a beautiful cake, lying next to my husband when it’s freezing cold outside.
I wouldn’t put ‘worrying about my bank account and life strategy for the next 12 months’ on that list.
It’s a cliche because it’s true: there is more to life than making a pile of money.
That’s all I’ve got right now in terms of plans for 2017.
An orientation towards simplicity and beauty.