This week’s advice to chill the fuck out is all you actually need to know to have a completely different experience of your business and life.

Nothing changes, but everything looks different when you Just. Chill. The. Fuck. Out.

Here’s why that is.

Entrepreneurs are the biggest proponents of ‘I’ll be happy when…..’

Cue the vision board with the lovely big house, the convertible car, the private schools for our kids and the wodges of spare cash in the bank account should we ever decide a holiday to the Caribbean would top the whole thing off nicely.

See the journal entries: ‘It’s the 31 December 2026 and I have a business that turns over three million dollars/pounds/whatever, I work only four hours a week and I have a team that takes care of the day to day running of the business. I have a housekeeper so I never have to iron again, three pedigree dogs and I spend my days alternating between flying first class, doing yoga and occasionally checking in on the number of zeros in my bank account.’

‘Come on!!!’, our crack-addicted mentors and mastermind buddies tell us – “You can do better than that! Add another zero on! That sounds like you’re working far too hard for your money! Only three dogs?”

“You can do more, bigger, better and certainly faster!!!”

And it looks true. Surely we would be happier if we could travel first class four times a year to a sun-drenched island? If we never had to iron again? If our bank accounts had six zeros in them rather than just one?

So, believing all the above to be true, sprinkled with a little bit of “if it’s to be, it’s up to me”, we go all out to create that perfect business with this many sales per month, at this price, with only these kind of clients, with this amount of revenue and x amount of passive revenue and this many twitter followers.

That is NOT chilling the fuck out, by the way.

But who cares, as long as we can get what we want, we’ll be happy, right? After all, that’s all we want, all that anybody wants, right?

Well here’s something that’s very VERY cool to know about that which will change your life.

It’s bollocks.

Not in a hippie ‘don’t worry, man, all you need is love’ kind of way.

Not in a glib ‘money doesn’t make you happy’ kind of way either.

But simply because this is true instead:

Your experience of well-being does not come from your circumstances.

If you get everything ‘right’ on the outside, it has fuck all to do with how you feel on the inside. (Sorry, I’m quite sweary today)

No really.

How do I know?

Because I’ve personally ticked all the boxes on getting it ‘right’ on the outside, and when I got ‘there’ there was nothing there.

A million dollars in revenue, sitting on a sunny beach with my gorgeous husband and my three healthy (privately schooled) kids having just bought the house of my dreams and my convertible car.

Nothing.

There was nothing there.

That shocked me to my very core. How could that happen? After everything I’d worked so hard for, why was the very thing I’d been promised not there?

“It’s all right for you to say, Nic, just give me the chance to make that much money and do all the blah blah blah that happened for you, and I’ll make my own mind up, thank you very much.”

(You’re not original by the way, this is my most oft-heard comeback.)

Here’s my reply to you.

Your experience of well being doesn’t come from your circumstances. That would be outside-in.

Instead, your how you feel is only ever a reflection of your thinking in that precise moment – it actually works inside-out.

Here’s how you know that’s true.

Go look at your bank account right now. Write down the feelings you experience.

Wait three days.

Go and look at your bank account again. Write down the feelings you experience then.

Wait three days.

Go and look at your bank account again. Write down the feelings you experience then.

Wait three days. (I fee like I’m writing a marketing campaign in Infusionsoft…)

Go and look at your bank account again. Write down the feelings you experience then.

If you actually do this experiment (which not one of you will because you’re all too busy working hard to make more money), you’ll fall into one of two camps.

One – the habitual thinker who is addicted to their favourite thought about money

Referring back to The Problem- Part Two,some of you will have such strong habitual thinking about your bank account that you will write down the same thing every single time you look at your bank account.

A fact that’s interesting in itself.

For you, it doesn’t really matter what number is in your bank account, you’ll always experience worry, anxiety and a concern that there’s not enough.

Think back to when you were a penniless student or backpacking around the world on a handful of baht.

Were you totally miserable the whole time then and completely happy all the time now?

That’s because your experience is created by your thinking in the moment, not the number in your bank account.

For others of you, you’ll notice that even though the number doesn’t change much over the course of the experiment, on the first occasion you may feel totally depressed when you look at your number.

On the next you might feel hopeful.

On the next you might feel total panic and desperation.

And the next a sense of peace and that all is well with the world.

And then back to panic again.

That’s because your experience is created by your thinking in the moment, not the number in your bank account.

Just think what that means.

It means that even if you never got anything on your vision board, you could be happy right now.

Not in 2026.

RIGHT. NOW.

And that, my lovely readers, when you start to see it, is going to help you chill the fuck out a little bit…….just come back tomorrow to keep reading.

 

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